A Seat at the Table
Ultimately we only have ourselves to answer to, yet we turn so many of our decisions over to the opinions of other people: 'what will everyone think?' we wonder. And who comes to mind when you think of the 'everyone' you allow to influence your choices? Chances are its people who incite fear or shame, people who disapprove of your more outlandish desires. Maybe you invite a girl from high school, who you now only see via social media, into your brain to pass judgment (when probably, she thinks your life looks really cool on the internet too). Maybe it's your aunt who always seems to think what you're doing is a bad idea, too risky! We invite people to the table to hold court over our big life choices, and these voices only get amplified at this time of year, when we take to a literal table for Thanksgiving and Christmas Dinner. When the questions ‘so what are you doing with your life?’ become even more prevalent.
What might happen if we brought a new crew in when we're making life altering choices? What if, in real life or inside our own imaginations, we ask people who inspire us, who make us want to make bolder choices, dream bigger, fail harder and get back up stronger, to help us when we’re unsure of our big life questions. ‘What are you doing with your life?’ becomes a lot more exciting of a question when you allow yourself to say ‘I don’t know yet, but here’s what I dream about!’
Who inspires you? Who lives a life like the one you hope for? If you told them about the business ideas or travel plans that scare the living daylights out of you, but also set your soul on fire (isn't it funny that those are so often one and the same?) don't you think they would add more sticks instead of water? They'd ask questions about how you can make those hopes into plans. They wouldn't question the legitimacy of your dreams because they know how it feels to take chances.
For me, the people who I talk to in real life are other entrepreneurs, other travelers who feel the pull of wanderlust leading their lives. People like Ana at Follow the Sun Art who brings so much joy and beauty into the world with her creations. My mom, who supports my pursuits with realism and on-the-ground help. My business partner/soul sister Jules, who when I shared how much I wanted to host a yoga retreat, and all the fears holding me back said 'me too,' and we figured out how to move through that together.
So as you move into Holiday season, try getting clear on who you allow to take a seat at your table, who’s opinions help you to grow, fan the flame of your soul, and who you allow to keep you small.